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lyrics

We're watching Good Will Hunting and paying attention to Elliott Smith
Songs in the background of the film; we're not being careful with
Our hands—I think we want to lose control
We want some kind of physical affirmation
So our hands find their stations and of course we lose control

You and I and a couple of friends are getting high at the kitchen table
I'm not really sure if I should move, but I'd like to kiss you if I'm able
To lean over, to get any closer to you at all
My chair wobbles as I shift my weight
Talk about a bad decision, but I realize way too late and I fall

Every once in a while, you find a reason to care
Some switch flips on in your insides and you suddenly are aware
Of all the things you could do better, so much better than you do now
And the only goal in your rattled head is to get better someway, somehow

When I'm in my car I don't have the urge to flee north up 75
These days I don't feel like my only options are stay and die or leave and survive
I can drive my car without staring longingly at the sign for 275
Today I see past the false binary; I can stay right here and I'll be just fine, I'll make it out alive

I'm quitting smoking cigarettes—I brush my teeth twice a day
I'm trying hard to bite my tongue when I have something shitty to say
"Look out the window, Maggie, it's morning; the dew is drying now
Let's find a way to stay in bed for a few more hours, a few more hours someway, somehow."

credits

from The Captain's Head Goes Live, released June 23, 2016

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